The Renamed, From Waianae to Waikiki Mahu Thread

[Rocky Rockbottom]

I wrote about this on another forum but considering todays circumstances I've decided to post it here.

(Posted: Fri May 13, 2005 10:48 pm) The most hidious dragon woman is house sitting next door, I live in a one bedroom walkup apt. She looks like the old lady in Something About Mary. She is an insomniac chain smoker too which is the main problem. For the past couple of nights she has been camped out side her front door, between the door and my window, smoking. I don't like that because I have to close my window but I can live with it as long as she's temporary. The worst part though is her cronic smokers hack/wheezing. I can tell that she's on death's door with the hideous noises emanating from her tortured body. At 3:00 AM I finally got sick of waking up to that noise and went out and told her that I was sleeping and that she was disturbing me. She said sorry and said that she was going inside after she finished up. Great and end to my problem I thought I could still get some sleep and wake up early and go surf. TEN fucking minutes later she was outside doing the same thing! Fuck it I drank myself stoopid untill 5:30. She was out there untill 4:30 or 5:00 hacking away.

I got up this afternoon at 12:30 with a nasty hangover. No chance of surfing at all. The old bitch was smoking away outside too. My wife started cooking lunch for me and opened the window and she got a whiff of the old bag's menthals, and promptly shut the window. It was 89 degrees or about 31C, like a sauna in our place. To solve the problem I did it the cowardly way, I called the property manager. So far problem solved.

I'll continue from here.

The old lady fucked off today. I was relieved earlier because I thought I would be able to finally be able to get a good night of sleep after a five days of cronic hacking. I was looking forward to doing a dawn patrol in the morn.

At midnight I started to hear some noise again. This time it was a man's voice talking to my neighbor up stairs and then next door and then downstairs. I took a look after about 10 minutes of that ruckus. At first I couldn't see him After looking both ways and up I looked down and see some dude with his pants down in our parking lot. NASTY. I looked again and realised that he just took a dump next to my neighbor's car. Next thi9ng he comes up again. I hid in my apt, not wanting any contact with him or his fecal smeared hands. He went up again and then came down and pushed through my door! I was of course looking through the peephole so I slammed him back. He went into the railings outside and said calm down and then asked where he belonged. Wierd huh? I told him that he didn't belong here and told him to fuck off and go somewhere else. After that I called the cops.

As soon as I called the guy decides to finally leave after he woke up the whole building, took a dump in the parking lot, and burgled my place. I followed him down the street untill the cops came. I didn't press any charges so they got him on tresspassing.

I met a neighbor after that and the guy tried to open his door too. The guy said to him that he was lonely. The guy appeared to be high as a kite and he spoke with an Aussie accent. Fucking weird guy. He looked young too. I think he belonged to the hostel down the street. He's lucky that one of us didn't kill him.

[slap a dap]

..............uh, TIME TO MOVE!!

[Bud]

I lived & worked in Waikiki for many years, back in the 80's & 90's. The "low" point being the couple years living with a bunch of fellow derelicts in a 2nd floor 1 bdroom walk up apt, in a ratty building on "Pau" street (torn down a few yeras ago), a stones throw from Tony Roma's. 100% grafitti walls, beer can pyramids stacked to the ceiling, "Pigs in Zen" etc., blaring 24/7. The blue & white Cushmans were a regular sight at the bottom of the stairs.

Ahh the stories I could tell. if could remember any of it.

[Rocky Rockbottom]

..............uh, TIME TO MOVE!!

I'm looking into that right now. A 3 story walkup in Waiks ain't the best place to raise a kid.

[Rocky Rockbottom]

Ahh the stories I could tell. if could remember any of it.

Got any mahu stories? About 7 or 8 years ago after work I met my friend up at the wave and he was already primed up on Long Island iced tea and dancing with a group of chicks. I got a beer and was sitting at the bar when he came up and quickly introduced me to his new "lady" friend as he was leaving. I was quite sober at the time and thought something was strange. I looked over at her friends and saw that they were all mahus. I was cracking up especially when he came back 10 minutes later and told me about it.

[red]

No good Mahu stories, comrade...

But yesterday was a very disturbing day for yours trully.

1. A really nice guy I used to surf with at Bowls was stabbed to death at 2am over a parking spot.

2. I went to register at UH and found myself in a tense situation that involved campus security and a paranoid and disgruntled student who was issuing threats because the student advisors were 'laughing at him'.

3. Walking down the street with my lady we got stuck behind this old guy with a curved cane, when a bunch of school children were passing the other way he said to them "which one of you kids wants to die first?"

4. Okay I lied, there is a Mahu story but this guy wasn't dressed like a girl. I was at a crosswalk waiting for the light to change when this huge poly/black guy right behind me starts talking about how he's going to 'fuck my ass'.

This is all in a span of 24 hours. Time to move a little futher away from town.

[maleko]

Not Waikiki, WAIANAE

i'm on the bus around 12 AM, we just enter nanakuli and come to a stop. I see this car traveling East bound and cuts across all the lanes and skids to a stop in front of the bus. This iced out HA-Y-N comes running on the bus screaming I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS! ETC, ETC. He grabs this guy and starts shaking him/screaming at him. Then this other HA-Y-N gets up out of his chair takes off his chain, hat and t-shirt, and starts to throw these girlie punches at the guy who is being held by the iced out piece of shit. I stood up false cracked the iced out guy in the back of the head, hard enuff to drop him, and then start blocking punches from the other guy. blah, blah, blah. the young guy gets off the bus, runs to the car and comes back with a tire iron. i think it's a gun but then realize it's only a tire iron and challenge him by saying "Let's go." (Iwas wearing my EDDIE WOULD GO shirt) the iced out guy was throwing punches at me and the 1st guy grabbed hold of him. The young guy starts to charge at me and i'm holding on the rails on the bus and swing up ank kick his face. he runs off the bus, the iced out guy runs off too and they drive away. the other guy tells me he's wanted by the police and takes off out the back door. All the passengers run off too. 10 minutes go by as i'm the only 1 on the bus and the cops show up. they don't even question me but the bus driver tells them the tag # and they bag it.(leave) people get back on the bus and stare at me the whole way home . where the fight was on the bus just happened to be in front of a huge brush fire that was on the news.

mahus? nakakuli beach da braddahs and jarheads love 'em!!

Town? i work there, drink there, smoke there, phuck there

[Haoleboy]

Had a friend who lived with 2 mahus who were quite beautiful when they tucked...we'd be hanging at her place, and these "ladies" would bring home these young bright-eyed military boys. Total straight off the farm hicks. They'd take 'em in the back room and blow them .We'd just be cracking up.. Kinda creepy in retrosect.

[HMARK]

I have been stationed in the jungle for the past 4 months (temporary permanent BS) and we have had quite a few innaressing calls with those of the "gentle/weird" persuasion.

The big old yellow truck goes pretty nosily thru waikiki, and I at times drive the back of the ladder truck. We pass Hula's quite often in the middle of the night. Almost all the time when we pass all the "girls" are hanging off the rail of the 2nd floor. As a rule, we blast the loud ass air horn and yell someone from the trucks name to the flowers up there. Lotsa a fun on company time.

Sometimes, we get really bizarre alarms to go with the heartache ones. Most of the bizarre ones are funny, but some are just friggin strange. This one we went to was a classic. This call comes in as possible suicide, so off we go. Get to the apartment, and this GUY is sitting in his bathtub, wearing a bra and panties, empty beers all around, looking lovely with a 3 day stubble going on. He/She/It has a surge protector plugged into the wall, wires stripped, and the wires going into the tub, and.....yes, up his ASS. Now i dont know about weird sex, but i think if I was gonna bop myself off, I would find a more comfortable way. I figger the embarassment from our walking in on him was enuf to bring him outta his daze. End of the story was he was depressed because his lover had left on a ship for 6 months. People are strange.

We had a call a few weeks ago, where it came is as a unresponsive person. The girl was on her back at a club at the Waikiki trade center. We couldnt rouse her for nothing. Out cold. She is breathing, but real shallow. So the EMT's show up, whisk her into the ambulance, but they were running short an needed a driver. So driving the Ambulance to Straub, the EMT's were starting an IV, when she apparently goes into cardiac arrest. They start to cut off her clothes to attach the defibrillator, and when they get "her" dress off.......She has a Dick. And Balls.

The worst part was, she was friggin good looking. I mean seriously good looking.

Not as good after the dick part, of course.

[bobblehead]

was visiting a friend of mine who managed a place down there and asked her where the rest room was. when i started off i saw the most beautiful girl (you know the thread so...) walkin towards me arm in arm with some dude. didnt want to be a total lech n didnt want to annoy said dude, so i saved my gawk for after we passed each other. sweeeet okole! i mean round and all! well when i looked up from ah, her ass i could see my friend jus dying rotfl. after my leak, i went back n asked what was up. parrently said chick was an employee of my friend who was much too happy to inform me of said employees status as a transvestite waitn for the knife. this was also confirmed by a surf friend of mine who said, "oh yeah, das Ahtah, i wen school wit him", the dude was a long term thing, he knew and was cool with it. (insert "crying game" song) i guess he figured after the op hed have a legit hottie.

[lgz]

I was innocently showing an older friend of mine some waikiki fun one night and decide to stop in at Mooses for a few. we are minding our business when the mahu crew rolls thru the door. a few are shockingly hot and put the real girls with vaginas to shame. it was scary.
so were chilling and i ask my friend barry so hey what a ya think of that one ? yeah shes a hottie was his reply, i just start crackin up.
he really cant believe it, hes dumbfounded and in disbelief that it s a dude then i tell him all about the term mahu and were just rolling.
i guess after a few beers he really couldn't believe it and is starting to check "them" out. one of the manpanions sees hes intrested and starts chating him up, hes having a grand ol time and doesn't have a clue.
i couldn't take it any longer so i step over and attempt to intervine but mahu mitch just isn't giving in and holding its ground, even attepts to get flirty with me. finally i've had enough and i ask if i can join the converstion and ask a question. they're having a good time and are like yeah whats up, so i lean over and say to the mahu "um exuse me but i was just wondering if by any chance, were you born with testiclas ?"

the thing just freaks, attempts to attack me but my friend gets in the middle then the mahu goes and gets its posse rounded up and they are ready to attack, staright ready to jump one haole. the bouncers are getting involved theres tons of screaming and we get thrown out of there for causing a rucus.

it was frigin hilarious, but just think we get kicked out cause some freak ass fag is in a bar perpertrating the fraud and taking advantage of our brave and lonely and foolish military.